Let's Jabble!
by GodOVWar
Summary: Jarem thinks he has a game show now . . . greeeat. . .
1. Chapter 1

Jarem was waving a peice of long flatbread around in the air. "Can I have everyones attention please?"

Noone payed Jarem any mind. "Heellllo can I have everyones attention please?"

Noone payed Jarem any mind. "Can I have everyones attention please?"

Noone payed Jarem any mind. "Yeah hi, Can I have everyones attention please?"

Noone payed Jarem any mind. Noone pays Jarem anything. Not even money. "Maybe just one person ,please? thanks."

Noone payed Jarem any mind.

Hercules climbed onto a kitchen chair. " Can I have everyones attention please?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and gave Hercules their full attention. Then they all started cheering.

Hercules humbly calmed the crowd. " I have an announcment to make."

"What? what is it Herc anything you need!" Amy shouted.

"Yeah Hercules you always have our greatest gratitude!" Jason shouted.

" It's acually May I have everyones attenion please, not Can I have everyones attention please, May not Can " Iolaus II corrected.

"We love you Hercules!" Lara screamed.

Hercules thanked them all then made his announcement. " May someone please pass the sugar,I'd appreciate it, thanks."

Someone passed Herc the sugar and Iolaus II corrected his grammer once again. They all went back to doing whatever. Most especially not paying any mind to Jarem.

Jarem crept over to Daffy " Hey Daff could you help me get their attention?"

Daffy put his hands on his hips. " Who you calling Daft? I'm not daft. You're daft."

"No I ment your name Daffy, I called you Daff."

"Draft? I aint writing you no draft."

"No, you mishear me."

Tib butted his head in between them " Did someone say Steak tenderloin?"

Jarem sighed "No I said- You know what? I did. Who wants steak!"

Noone payed Jarem any mind. Xept maybe Tib... . . a little.

Jarem started waving his flatbread more violently. Then he spoke into it. His voice boomed throughout the room.

" WElllcomme to the 5th annual Hunger gam- no wait thats not right..." Jarem cleared his throat " WElcome to Jarems Jibber Jabber jabble! You are all contestants on my latest game show! Now lets JABBle!"

Rory started whispering to Amy " Whats he going on about?"

Amy shrugged " Donno. Is that flatbread?"

Jarem appeared right in front of Amy. She screeched and covered her mouth. " Why this is my microphone Young miss, would you like to say something to the audience?"

"It's flatbread . . ."

Jarem quickly turned to Rory. " How about you young sir? would you like to speak to the audience?"

" What audience. . . . "

Seemingly content with that Jarem continued hosting his so called game show. "First my Wonderful assistant Jason will set you all up around the table!"

Jasons eyes went wide. He silently pointed to himself and quietly mouthed "me?"

Jarem was trying to push chairs around the table. " Yes of course you!" He couldnt budge the chairs. "Herc can you help?

Hercules picked up all the chairs AND Jarem and shoved them into a circle around the table. Iolaus shoved him "Herc! why are you promoting this! you have got to learn to say NO!"

Hercules shrugged. He just couldn't say no this time . . . maybe next time.

Jason awkwardly started showing people to their chairs.

Once everyone was set up Jarem picked up a card and started reading. " What do you call a Male Chicken?"

The Doctor buzzes in " Flappy burger!"

Jarem: COrrect!

Jarem: Whats the longest you have gone without sleep?

*BZZ*Strife: Think Feather!

Jarem: Absolutely.. . . CORRECT!

Jarem: What is my name?

*BZZ*Joxer: Mr Flip Fish

Jarem: CORRECT, Of course it is!

Jarem: What is My uncles name?

*BZZZ*Snake: The moon.

Jarem: . . . Im sorry but . . . Thats right!

Jarem: What does U.S.A stand for?

*BZZ* Dahak: Unbelievable Sins and Atrocitys of bloody death.

Jarem: . . . . . . . CORREEEEEEEEEEEEECT!

Jarem: Do you recycle?

*BZZ* Iolaus II: Yes.

Jarem: I'm terribly sorry that answer is incorrect. My lovely assistant Jason will see to it you never come back.

Iolaus II started panicking. " Wait what! but but but but bu got it right!"

Jason reluctantly took iolaus II by the arm and threw him out the door.

"Ha my BZZZ was longer then all of yours!" Snake randomly shouts to everyone.

Jarem beamed. " Ya know we really need to come up with a more dramatic way of eliminating people then throwing them out the door into the front yard."

"I can help with that." Ares says as he sits relaxed in his chair.

"Great! lets get started then my handpuppets want action. Everyone get ready for round two! and you wont be answering questions either. Now let's Jabble!"

Noone payed Jarem any mind.


	2. Chapter 2

Daffy has been eliminated due to unforseen circumstances. Lets just say that Jarem's hand puppets got restless in the night time hours. . .

"Alright everyone! The stage is all set thanks to our amazing stage hands Jason and now the regretfully eliminated Iolaus II." Jarem announced. Then he attempted to pull himself up onto the stage. He tried that for several minutes before finally walking around and using stairs. Thats what they're there for. For Jarems hip.

Jarem waved his flatbread around trying to get the bored guys attention. " Hey people! just look at this craftmansship! Look at this fake tree. This fake tree is by far the best fake tree I have EVER seen, and trust me,I have seen alot of fake trees in my time." He stroked a branch of the fake tree. The branch snapped off.

Jarem yanked his hand back. " This fake tree sucks! Who would use this garbage! This is a health risk. Jason remove this hazard at once! who made this anyway?"

Iolaus II emabarrasedly walked up. " Umm. . . I did."

Jarem sighed " I knew we needed a better elimination system." Jarem's hand puppets glared menecingly at Iolaus II.

Iolaus II yelped and hurried to help Jason ( who was having an amazingly hard time removing the fake tree for all the branches were crumbling and falling off stage).

Jarem clapped his hand puppets together. " Alrighty then. The play is Little Red Riding Hood. Any questions?"

Hades raised his hand.

"Yes Hades?"

Hades quickly looked up. "Oh, no I was just stretching."

"Oh . . . Well still any questions?"

"Yeah!" Yelled Snake. " How are we supposed to get eliminated from this?"

"Ah good question! whoevers acting displeases me (or his handpuppets) Gets eliminated! Why?"

Snake shrugged. " Just looking for a way out of it."

Jarem beamed and flopped his flatbread toward snake. " Thats the spirit!"

Jarem held up a list that had the cast on it." Lets JABBLE!"

**Red Riding Hood : Sovereign**

**Big Scary Wolf: Rory**

**Grandma: Hercules**

**Lumberjack: Amy**

**The replacment for the fake tree: Ares**

**The Bed: Joxer**

**Some Wind: Strife**

**Red Riding Hoods Hood: Lara**

**Special Effects: Dahak**

**Nothing: Iolaus**

**Less Then nothing:Snake**

**A passing Butterfly: Hades**

**Stunt man: Doctor**

Everyone got a copy of the list and studied their lines.

Iolaus stomped up onto stage " How am I supposed to win if I am nothing!"

Jarem patted Iolaus's shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile ( it wasn't very reassuring.) " I don't know. Impress me. Make me proud! you can do have what it takes in your heart."

Iolaus shuddered in fristration." Are you saying im a nothing!"

Snake stomped up even louder and crossed his arms. " It's because of what I said isnt it?"

Jarem was already trying to climb off stage and didnt bother hearing Snake. *20 minutes pass* Jarem gives up and heads for the stairs.

"Alright everybody places!" Someone yells that they hardly even got to look at their lines yet but Jarem takes a seat to watch anyway."Special effects dude! Lights!"

The lights brighten so much it blinds Jarem straight out of his seat. " No no no dim them Dahak! Dim them!"

A blazing hot fire ball shoots through the stage curtin and destroys half the lights.

Jarem tries to climb back into his seat. He finally just gets up and sits down. " Um Very good I like it! It shows creativity! they are certainly dimmed! carry on!"

Ares is standing on stage glaring.

"Ares try swaying! get into character!" Jarem shouts.

Ares reluctantly moves his head a little. Jarem gives him a thumbs up.

Nothing happens on stage for a while. Then Strife runs by.

Jarem stands and claps " That really blew me away! you make some good wind there! I felt that!"

Strife runs back the other way.

Jarem quickly sits back down and frowns. " Okay now your just over acting your part. . ."

**Scene: Red riding hood(Soveriegn) on her way to grandmas(Hercules) house. She meets wolf(Rory).**

"Action!"

The Sovereign is trying to skip onto the stage with Lara Clinging to his back. Rory lamely intercedes.

" Oi you . . uh you there stop. . .Im gonna go blow your grandmas house down into um rubbish yeah into lots of . . . rubbish. . . Im gonna blow it into rubbish."

Jarem smiles " Yeah wrong play but im loving the acting! Now riding hood tell us how you feel about that!"

Sovereign shifts Lara onto his back more securly and begins his lines but gets distracted as Hades walks across the stage receiving a whoop and round of applause from Jarem.

Sovereign regains his composure and begins again. " I am very disappointed."

" Good good But we need some feeling !" Jarem cuts in.

" VERY DISAPPOINTED!"

Rory jumps back a little.

Jarem motions Sovereign near Ares (the tree) so that Ares can subtly brush Sovereign with a branch as he says it. Lara and Ares make pathetic eye contact. They have pathetic roles to play.

Soveregin starts again." VERY DISAPPOINTED!" Ares starts slapping sovereigns arm all over.

Jarem loves it.

Strife runs by.

Hades walks by.

Next scene.

**Riding hood (Sovereign) makes it to grandmas(Herc) house. The wolf ( Rory) is already there and gonna eat grandma. The lumberjack ( Amy) Saves them.**

Hercules has a pink nighty on and he's laying on top of Joxer. Suddenly Rory bursts in. " Um Red is that you dear?" Herc awkwardly says.

" Um yes um Granny its um me. Not anyone else. Im not gonna eat you or anything." Rory even more awkwardly replies.

" What kind of acting is this!" Jarem yells. " BRILLIANT ACTING thats what! carry on!"

Strife runs by the front of the house.

Hades sits on the windowill.

Herc accidentally rolls of Joxer and jabs him with an elbow.

"Ow my NOse!" Joxer yells grabbing his nose and accidentally jabbing Herc with an elbow

" Ow oops." Herc looks at Jarem for reassurance.

Jarem waves them on "Your good! still good keep going!"

Herc smushes Joxer under him once again. " Ooo what big eyes you have."

"Better to uh" Rory looks at his lines "See you with."

"Oooh What a big nose you have." Herc says

" Oi now you just being mean."

" Sorry , im just following the script." Herc says

"Ohh wha-"

Jarem starts waving his flatbread " Que the lumberjack(Amy) im bored with this. Oh and effects dude make it rain!"

Amy is hacking at Ares leg. Ares is trying to bend his knees slightly more each hack to put people under the impression he's being chopped down. . . It's not working. . .. " Oi im cutting down trees!... yeah thats what i'm doin. just chopping." Strife runs by and whispers the word trouble. Amy starts running " I hear trouble in the wind!"

Dahak had climbed up on top of the stage and started spitting on people.

Jarem thought thats some great rain so he made Iolaus and Snake ( the nothings) help.

Globs of spit smack Amy in the face as she runs.

A big action scene of Amy is coming up.

"QUe the stuntman!" Jarem yells.

The doctor ( with an orange wig on) runs and flips over a log falls on his face, runs through spike balls (gets hit more then once) fire balls are thrown at him, axes fling, knives slice. He finally, battered and beat up, managed to crawl inside grandmas house.

They replace him with Amy once again.

By this time Sovereign had arrived. He picks Lara up off himself and hangs her on the door.

Rory pretends to lick his fingers " Mmmm tastey"

Amy charges with her axe.

"QUE STUNTMAN!" Jarem yells.

The doctor puts on a blonde wig and get tackled by Amy and her a fake blow up balloon axe. She Starts beating him with it. The doctor pretends to be cut open and Herc climbs out and is supposed to hug riding hood in a happy reunion. (Sovereign). They just can't seem the bring themselves to do it. Even after tons of coaxing Jarem finally gives up and lets Hercules hug the stuntman ( The Doctor,who can hardly stand anymore, and also this time wearing a fake beard)Instead.

Strife starts to run by once again, Hades starts to run also. They ram into eachother and fall off stage.

Jarem shoots out of his seat. " And thats a wrap! Good job everyone!" He tries to launch himself on stage. *An hour later* he uses the stairs.

"Now for the elimination! the one I hated was! HADES! Im sorry but your performance lacked something in my opinion. bye bye"

Hades looks dumbfounded. " But you whooped and applauded me!"

Jarem shrugs " Which makes me quite a better actor than you are Hades. Jason please dispose of him onto the lawn."

Jason Grabs Hades arm and throws him out the front door. You hear muffled curses from outside.

Jarem sighs. They really need a better way. Ares apparently wasn't serious about helping out with the issue. . ." Oh and Jason! Mop up all this spit off the stage will ya?!"

Dahak gloats.


End file.
